Monday, August 26, 2013

You can Do what you want- BUT you are doing it WRONG!

Last night I sat with my husband trying to get a little current musical education. We don't watch MTV much anymore- most of it being entirely inappropriate and generates uncomfortable feelings all around. One can only have so many jumping off points for conversation with kids about drugs, sex, and poor choices. So- having missed the initial airing of the MTV video music awards- we chose to watch an instant replay on VH-1. Phil and I were the only ones who appreciated that irony.

The first commercial had us agape as a caricature of a human being aka posterchild of all things that can go wrong in plastic surgery. I do not watch reality tv. I see commercials for housewives of various locations and professions and can't tell anything apart- and considering they all subscribe to the hideous Saw- clown face ideal of facial characteristics- how could I? But even the kids were slack jawed- what is wrong with her face? I momentarily wondered if the show's producers planned on letting her die on tv from anaphalaxis, her lips were so big.  The show- something about a monkey in Miami. Now as someone who uses the moniker, monkey - I was horrified lest my nickname be tarnished by this.

Lady Gaga opened, leaving everyone slightly Gaga about her lack of Gaga. Her many wardrobe changes mid stage seemed rushed and I was distracted by the unevenness of the wigs and ultimately watched just to see if one would go flying off. I wasn't shocked or particularly offended by the thong baring- you pretty much expect it in this caliber of show. I was more bothered that she wore it to watch the rest of the show in. I can't even remember which theatre it was in- but I definitely support the use of disposable seat covers now, ew.

Kanye- was Kanye. Way too self important, arrogant, trying too hard to be something. Which actually was a good lead in to the artist formerly known as Hannah Montana. I get that Miley Cyrus feels compelled to shed the Disney image and do what she wants to.  I get that she is trying to grow up and be edgey. I am not crazy about the lackadaisical approach to life- we all are responsible for our footprints.  But in the words of my ever astute husband- SHE IS DOING IT WRONG!  Before she even performed, he paused the show and made me watch the actual video so he could watch my facial expression and/or prepare me for what was ahead.  It was not shock- it was more confusion. It left us collectively scratching our heads and wanting to bleach our eyeballs. We googled her age- 21.  Not an uncommon age for kids to take those big gigantic steps away from parents and start forging their way. She is doing it wrong.  Kiera, freshly showered, had quietly slipped onto the couch-escaping our notice. Phil pushes play- the display of atrocity begins. I realize Kiera is there as Hannah Montana is bent over twerking on Mr. Seaver's son.  I look at Phil in horror. He pauses. If we ever- EVER -  she is giggling uncomfortably and realizes she's dismissed to bed hopefully not while visions of rabid teddy bears twerking dance in her head. Over and over- Miley is just doing it wrong. Lil Phillip sighs and says- I think this is a cry for help. I have to agree. Unfortunately I think the party in question is the only person who doesn't know where this trainwreck is headed. Even the camaramen seem embarrassed to watch.

The redeeming quality of the show came with a message of acceptance from Macklemore with introductory words from a really tall dude who seemed slightly out of his element as he presented the argument  judging a person for sexual orientation is no different that judging a person for their skin color. Unfortunately logic doesn't generally transcend the world of bigotry. The meaning and emphasis slightly and ironically lost when shorter dude goes on to announce that "He stand up for everything he believe in as far as everybody being equal, color, homosexuality,  white boy- Macklemore". Really? One step forward, 2 steps back. I don't care what your message is- articulation is a key element. Fortunately we were left with Macklemore's performance.

God Love Justin Timberlake for the mini concert and further earning hero status by reuniting N'sync.  Watching Gaga quiver in her seat like a preteen - a little comical. Yet a good example of how to perform- that being good at what you do will create genuine awe. JT- visibly uncomfortable with the attention and willing to share glory with his former bandmates- who without- his journey to success would have been very different. A far far cry from Hannah Montana- disavowing all connection to both her father and brand that created her. We are left with Miley- a caricature of a girl who might some day become a woman if shed can she the maniacal fluffy teddy bear of her own creation that seems to be strapped to her back.