Last night I sat with my husband trying to get a little current
musical education. We don't watch MTV much anymore- most of it being
entirely inappropriate and generates uncomfortable feelings all around.
One can only have so many jumping off points for conversation with kids
about drugs, sex, and poor choices. So- having missed the initial airing
of the MTV video music awards- we chose to watch an instant replay on
VH-1. Phil and I were the only ones who appreciated that irony.
The
first commercial had us agape as a caricature of a human being aka
posterchild of all things that can go wrong in plastic surgery. I do not
watch reality tv. I see commercials for housewives of various locations
and professions and can't tell anything apart- and considering they all
subscribe to the hideous Saw- clown face ideal of facial
characteristics- how could I? But even the kids were slack jawed- what
is wrong with her face? I momentarily wondered if the show's producers
planned on letting her die on tv from anaphalaxis, her lips were so
big. The show- something about a monkey in Miami. Now as someone who
uses the moniker, monkey - I was horrified lest my nickname be tarnished
by this.
Lady Gaga opened, leaving everyone slightly
Gaga about her lack of Gaga. Her many wardrobe changes mid stage seemed
rushed and I was distracted by the unevenness of the wigs and ultimately
watched just to see if one would go flying off. I wasn't shocked or
particularly offended by the thong baring- you pretty much expect it in
this caliber of show. I was more bothered that she wore it to watch the
rest of the show in. I can't even remember which theatre it was in- but I
definitely support the use of disposable seat covers now, ew.
Kanye-
was Kanye. Way too self important, arrogant, trying too hard to be
something. Which actually was a good lead in to the artist formerly
known as Hannah Montana. I get that Miley Cyrus feels compelled to shed
the Disney image and do what she wants to. I get that she is trying to
grow up and be edgey. I am not crazy about the lackadaisical approach to
life- we all are responsible for our footprints. But in the words of
my ever astute husband- SHE IS DOING IT WRONG! Before she even
performed, he paused the show and made me watch the actual video so he
could watch my facial expression and/or prepare me for what was ahead.
It was not shock- it was more confusion. It left us collectively
scratching our heads and wanting to bleach our eyeballs. We googled her
age- 21. Not an uncommon age for kids to take those big gigantic steps
away from parents and start forging their way. She is doing it wrong.
Kiera, freshly showered, had quietly slipped onto the couch-escaping our
notice. Phil pushes play- the display of atrocity begins. I realize
Kiera is there as Hannah Montana is bent over twerking on Mr. Seaver's
son. I look at Phil in horror. He pauses. If we ever- EVER - she is
giggling uncomfortably and realizes she's dismissed to bed hopefully not
while visions of rabid teddy bears twerking dance in her head. Over and
over- Miley is just doing it wrong. Lil Phillip sighs and says- I think
this is a cry for help. I have to agree. Unfortunately I think the
party in question is the only person who doesn't know where this
trainwreck is headed. Even the camaramen seem embarrassed to watch.
The
redeeming quality of the show came with a message of acceptance from
Macklemore with introductory words from a really tall dude who seemed
slightly out of his element as he presented the argument judging a
person for sexual orientation is no different that judging a person for
their skin color. Unfortunately logic doesn't generally transcend the
world of bigotry. The meaning and emphasis slightly and ironically lost
when shorter dude goes on to announce that "He stand up for everything
he believe in as far as everybody being equal, color, homosexuality,
white boy- Macklemore". Really? One step forward, 2 steps back. I don't
care what your message is- articulation is a key element. Fortunately we
were left with Macklemore's performance.
God Love
Justin Timberlake for the mini concert and further earning hero status
by reuniting N'sync. Watching Gaga quiver in her seat like a preteen - a
little comical. Yet a good example of how to perform- that being good
at what you do will create genuine awe. JT- visibly uncomfortable with
the attention and willing to share glory with his former bandmates- who
without- his journey to success would have been very different. A far
far cry from Hannah Montana- disavowing all connection to both her
father and brand that created her. We are left with Miley- a caricature
of a girl who might some day become a woman if shed can she the maniacal
fluffy teddy bear of her own creation that seems to be strapped to her
back.
